It takes two people to mend a broken relationship. If you are the only one trying to save things then you will never succeed.
You don’t believe your opinion is respected. You feel like your partner doesn’t care about your needs. You feel your partner is not helping with chores, bills, kids, etc. You don’t communicate well and/or argue frequently. [2] X Research source
Make time to be honest with your partner. Your concerns have to come out in the open or they will never be fixed. When you have this talk, allow yourself to be vulnerable. The vulnerability is important to any relationship, as it allows you and your partner to come together through feelings of closeness and intimacy. [4] X Research source It can help to write down your problems ahead of time, or discuss them with a close friend so you feel comfortable expressing yourself with your partner later.
As you respond, try using “I” statements instead of casting blame. Describe your perspective by saying something like, “I get lonely when you go out with your friends every night. I would like a night out with you every once in a while, too. "
Don’t be afraid to admit it if you find yourself in the wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s important to own these in a relationship rather than trying to ignore or avoid them.
If your partner feels like they do all the work, for example, make a list of 4-5 chores that you will commit to doing every day. If your partner feels like there is no more romance in your relationship, designate a “date” night once a week. If your partner feels marginalized or unloved, make a point to listen more and talk less during dinner and before bed.
Forgiveness takes time, so don’t be afraid if you are still angry 1-2 days after an argument. Keep working on forgiving your partner and you’ll be surprised how quickly you let go of negative emotions. Talking to your partner and seeing their mistake through their eyes can help you understand the issue and offer forgiveness more readily.
Remember the expression, “if you love something, set it free. ” Stifling or micromanaging people only drives them away. Trust yourself and your partner to spend some time alone and you will both return happier and healthier.
Go through old photo albums and tells stories from your early days together.
Commit to healing your relationship, no matter how difficult things are from day to day, and you can one day rebuild the trust that was lost.
You will likely have to ask for forgiveness multiple times, but you need to be honest and sincerely sorry for your transgressions.
Never make promises you can’t keep. If you need to change plans, change them several days in advance, giving your partner ample time to adjust their schedule as well.
This is not, however, an invitation for abuse. Be sincere, helpful, and loving, but do not let your partner abuse you out of “fairness” or revenge. It may be helpful to seek help from a marriage or family therapist. They can help you identify and communicate the underlying reasons the infidelity happened.
If you cannot be together, write each other letters or schedule times to talk on the phone or online.
Jealousy, misunderstandings, and ego can lead to many failed romances, so be upfront about your worries instead of hiding them.
Work on projects together. Discuss problems at work or home together and brainstorm solutions. Call your partner when you need someone to talk to. They should always be willing to listen when you need them.
You must be willing to give forgiveness in order to receive it. Don’t forget that you aren’t perfect either.
If you cannot get away for vacation, find a way to have a vacation from home. Go out to dinner and a movie, rent a hotel room in town, or spend a rainy Sunday together in your pajamas.
Don’t let patches of happiness make you second-guess your decision. Your partner should almost never hurt you or break your heart, no matter how good they are the rest of the time. If a fight between you and your partner ever becomes physical, leave as soon as it’s safe to do so. Physical attacks from your partner are assault and something that you should never have to stand for.
You should always feel free to be yourself with your partner. [11] X Research source
This applies if you fight over different things every day as well. If you find yourself fighting over every single thing that happens, step back and ask yourself why.
Discuss marriage or having kids – if you and your partner have opposing viewpoints, then this is a red flag that a long-term relationship might have problems.
