Stop yourself when you think these thoughts and say, “No, I will not look like a fool. I am strong and competent and I’m going to get through this. "

Ask yourself questions about your negative thoughts. For example, ask “Do I know I’m going to humiliate myself” or “How do I know I’m going to blow my presentation?” Then ask yourself, “Will it be the end of the world if I mess up?” The logical answers to the questions are: more than likely, you will not humiliate yourself or mess up. Even if you do mess up, you are human, as is everyone watching you. Even professionals mess up.

Remember that you have the power to change your exaggerated thoughts. For example, if you’re going to a wedding, focus on the fact that you won’t be the center of attention. Visualize being at the wedding and speaking confidently to others and enjoying yourself.

Don’t try to read people’s minds. You can’t know what people are thinking. Plus, they do not see the same negative self that you see in your mind. Use social situations to practice changing negative thoughts about yourself, and practice stopping and altering your thoughts about judgement from others. [5] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source

Understanding this can help put you on the same level as everyone around you. You are not alone in your fears. Also, since everyone feels anxiety from time to time, remembering this can help you realize people won’t criticize or judge you if they realize you are anxious.

Begin to understand that although you are focused with how others will think of you, everyone else is not as focused on you. If you say or do something embarrassing, others may not even notice. Or if they do, they will quickly forget it. Try to focus on other things when you notice your physical symptoms in social situations. You are not being as obvious as you think. It is very rare that others can notice physical symptoms of anxiety or even panic attacks. Instead notice your experience of the event, such as music you hear, how each bite of food tastes, or other entertainment such as art or dancing. Most people are just as nervous in social situations as you are. They are too busy focused on themselves. [8] X Research source

Wait until you feel moderately comfortable with the previous situation before moving to the more stressful one. You want to overcome your anxiety, not increase it. This list may take awhile to get through, and that’s okay. You may never reach number 10. But if you have conquered 1-7, you have made your social phobia significantly more manageable. If you feel you are struggling through this, contact a mental health professional who can offer you support while you attempt to face each fear on your list.

Make small talk with people you see often, such as employees, schoolmates, or other people that you come in contact with. This may be just a comment on the weather, your homework or work project, or the meeting you had earlier. Start by giving yourself a goal of speaking to one person once a week. Then increase it to every day, or speaking to multiple people in one day. Make a goal to make one comment in class or in your meeting. Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks. Focus on the fact that you did it. That is progress. If you are in a group setting, make a pact with yourself to say at least 3 comments in the conversation. Ask someone to dinner. It can be as a friend or as a date. Don’t focus on the response - only focus on the fact that you were assertive and asked. This helps you focus on the task and the goal, not the nerves. The idea here is to get control of the situation. You know you can control what you do, what you say, and what you ask. You can’t control the other person, so don’t worry about them. You can even try practicing with a friend at home what you’ll do or say in social situations.

Try thinking about the event while you are relaxed. Take a warm bath, curl up in a cozy blanket, or listen to your favorite song. Think about the upcoming event. Since you are in a good, relaxed head space, this can help you feel better about the upcoming event. Imagine that you are in the situation. Imagine yourself relaxed and confident. Thinking about the situation in a positive, relaxed way can help you overcome negative thoughts. [9] X Research source

Breathe through your abdomen, not your chest. To do this, lay on the floor or sit straight in a chair. Place a hand on your chest, the other on your abdomen. As you inhale, the hand on your abdomen should move while the one on your chest stays mostly at the same place. Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose. Hold for a count of 7. Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 8. Gently contract your abdominal muscles to get all the air from the lungs. This is extremely important. Complete 5 deep breaths. Try 1 deep breath per 10 seconds.

Ask your family or friends to go places with you that cause anxiety. Sometimes going to new places with someone you trust can help reduce your anxiety. Make sure you lean on supportive, positive, and encouraging friends and family members. If they are negative, put you down, lecture you, or criticize you, find someone else to support you. [11] X Research source

Try making spaces yours. Anything is nerve-wracking when it’s unfamiliar. Go to a restaurant, a part of town, or your gym. Walk around. Become familiar with it. Once you start to become familiar with a place, it can feel more comfortable. Plus, you start to put your focus on your surroundings. Then you can start socializing with people. Take someone with you. You don’t have to do this alone. Take a friend or family member to an event. Start small. Take a free class at a community center, go to a group class at the gym, volunteer, or join a meet up group and attend a gathering.

Focus on the present, instead of replaying things that have already happened.

Some social situations are quick, like saying hello or making small talk. Although that may cause anxiety that you can’t wait through, you can feel good about speaking to the person and making small talk. [14] X Research source

When you get a chance to contribute something meaningful that you think the others will appreciate, throw it in there. You’ll do just fine. This is a great place to make goals for yourself. Start by saying you’ll say one thing in the conversation, and increase as you get more comfortable.

Those who pick at your flaws usually do so because of a lack of self-esteem on their part. If they are judging you, you don’t want to be around them in the first place.

CBT helps you learn how to manage physical symptoms through relaxation and breathing, replace negative thoughts with more balanced ones, and gradually face social situations. [17] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source

Try a CBT based self-help app like Joyable. https://joyable. com/. This app pairs cognitive techniques, education, and a personal coach to help you through social anxiety.

Common medications used are Beta blockers for performance anxiety that help the physical symptoms of anxiety, antidepressants, and benzodiazepines. [20] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source