For example, take a foreign language class to expose yourself to different cultures and to interact with other people. See if your city recreation department offers classes or look for continuing education programs.
Talk to leaders in the community like your religious leader, coach, or a school counselor about ways that you can volunteer. For example, you might say, “I’d like to volunteer, do you have any suggestions?” When possible, volunteer to do things that will allow you to interact with other people. For example, instead of volunteering to stuff envelopes, you might volunteer to greet visitors at an event. Check out online resources that list volunteer opportunities in your community, such as VolunteerMatch. org and Idealist. org.
For example, you might tell your sister, “When we go to the party tonight, would you mind introducing me to a few people since I won’t know anyone?” Or for instance, if you are starting a new job you might ask your HR representative or supervisor to introduce you to key people you may need to know. Consider joining a friend for an activity or event that you do not normally partake in to meet different people.
When you meet new people, remind yourself that you are a great person who is capable of making new friends. Try saying, “I believe that I can meet new people. I don’t have to feel isolated or lonely. ” Make a list of all the reasons someone would want to spend time with you. For example, you might write, “I’m quirky, thoughtful, interesting, and a great listener. ” Give yourself a daily compliment. For instance, when you’re getting dressed in the morning, you could tell yourself, “I’m a great person and I’m going to have a great day with the people around me. ” Keep in mind that you may not connect with everyone you meet and that’s okay. Everyone has unique personalities and interests, and it’s normal for those to bring you closer or distance you from different people. Try to be patient. Remember that it takes time to build connections with new people.
Make a list of all the things you want to do in life. You might surprise yourself by some of the things you want to experience. For example, you may think about it and realize you want to learn fencing. Spend some time meditating. This is a great way to reduce stress, improve your focus and concentration, and allow you to explore your thoughts and emotions.
Make a list of hobbies or activities that you have been wanting to try. Include group activities, but also include solo activities like gardening, writing poetry, painting, or blogging. If you are not sure where to start, research online or visit your public library and browse books on hobbies to see if something new catches your interest.
Instead of emailing or texting your friend, give them a call, do a video conference, or better yet, make plans to spend time together. Although social media should not be your primary way of connecting, it is very helpful for times when you need to be home, such as when recovering from an illness.
Call your friends and family members every few days to see how they are doing and what is going on in their life. Instead of waiting on a friend to ask you to hang out, you might call them and say, “Hey! Do you want to hang out this weekend?” Offer suggestions, such as meeting for lunch, but invite your friends to also offer ideas for what activities to do when you get together.
Talk about more than superficial things or “small talk” with the people close to you. For instance, don’t just talk with your teammate about the weather and the game. Share the good things and the bad things that are happening in your life with your friends and family. For example, you might tell your friend, “I feel like we need to connect more. Can I talk about some things going on with me. ”
Remove other distractions when you are talking with people close to you so that you can pay attention to the conversation. Instead of thinking about how you will respond or letting your mind wander, stay focused on what you all are talking about. Listen without feeling the need to have a perfect solution to whatever may be shared with you. Sometimes people just need to be heard.
Your separation from others persists for a few days or more. You begin to feel depressed, anxious, guilty, shameful, hopeless, helpless, worthless, and lonely but you continue to isolate yourself. You have fears of developing closer relationships with people out of fear of rejection, abandonment, or general social anxiety. Your social isolation is affecting a normal productive daily functioning at work or school. (i. e. , missing classes or meetings, not attending business social gatherings, difficulty communicating with peers, teachers, or bosses).
Keep your emotions to yourself and have difficulty receiving emotional support from others. Easily shut down and sometimes feel numb when feeling threatened. Are reluctant to speak to communicate with others, unless it is superficial and topic of conversation is not about you and is brief in nature. May have been exposed to infidelity, abuse, neglect, or abandonment and have an underlying trust issue with others.
A therapist will be able to help you identify what the underlying issues are that resulted in isolating behaviors and your current feelings of loneliness. [11] X Expert Source Chloe Carmichael, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 29 May 2019. There are times when the person does want deeper relationships with others, but due to extreme fear and sometimes paranoia, they may not know how to proceed. Alternatively, if the person who is experiencing isolation due to location (i. e. , an older person in a rural area), the therapist will be able to connect the individual to community supports to increase their engagement with others and build stronger relationships with others.
