Not all people with antisocial personality disorder are physically violent, but sudden aggression and reckless behavior are associated with the condition. Threatening to commit suicide might be a tactic to manipulate your emotions. If you believe they have the intent and means to hurt themselves, call emergency services. If you suspect they’re threatening suicide to control you or have repeatedly threatened to harm themselves, stick to your boundaries. Tell them that you are not responsible for their actions and will not allow them to control you. [3] X Trustworthy Source National Domestic Violence Hotline Organization providing lifesaving tools, support, and resources for victims and survivors of domestic abuse Go to source
The point to bear in mind is that a psychopath typically seems friendly and personable at first. They might have been charming for weeks, then you eventually started noticing red flags. Suppose they disappeared for a couple of days, and when you asked them where they went, they blew up at you, threatened violence, and said it’s none of your business. Additionally, remember that you’re not alone. A person with psychopathic tendencies disregards the wellbeing of others, and treats everyone they encounter as an object. Remind yourself that you are not the first person they’ve mistreated.
You might be on the fence because you enjoy their company when they’re nice. However, ask yourself if they’re only nice when you do things for them. Suppose they ask you to drive them somewhere and you say you can’t. If they blow up at you, they’re probably only charming you to get what they want. Keep in mind you might not experience outright fear. Trust your gut if you feel that this person always seems to turn the blame on you, constantly lies, takes advantage of you, suddenly becomes aggressive, or doesn’t seem to care about your physical or mental health.
For example, you might completely redecorate your home so that you do not associate your surroundings with the person who manipulated you. You could also set a boundary that says no moving in or sharing a bank account with a new person until you two have gone through a round of couple’s therapy. [6] X Research source Remember that you always have the right to say no. You don’t owe any explanation, and you are under no obligation to change your mind. Be sure to set boundaries that will protect you for your physical, emotional, and financial future.
Don’t look at their social media profiles, resist urges to call or text them, and don’t allow yourself to second-guess your decision. If this person has subjected you to emotional, verbal, or financial abuse, they have no business being in your life. Breaking up is never easy, but stay strong and don’t succumb to guilt. Realize that you are not abandoning them in their time of need; you are just protecting yourself. Remember that you’re not their counselor or psychologist, and you can’t force them to change. A person with antisocial personality disorder isn’t going to change without professional help, but most people with the disorder reject treatment. [8] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Memorize important phone numbers and, if possible, get a second cell phone that they can’t access. Before leaving, gather your vital documents and, if you can safely do so, transfer money and deposit your income into a new bank account. Make a copy of your car keys and hide them in a secure place. Arrange to stay with a friend or family member. If you don’t have any local trusted friends or relatives, you can stay at a shelter for victims of domestic violence.
Ask a trusted friend or relative to go with you for moral support. You do not need a lawyer to petition for a protective order, nor do you need to pay any filing fees. Provide the abusive person’s work and home addresses, and bring any evidence with you, such as medical bills, photographs, or police reports.
You can also seek out support groups that are devoted to helping victims of emotional or physical abuse.
Think about why the person is telling you a story, gossiping, or giving an explanation. Double-check their story whenever possible. Grab a friend or coworker, or do a quick online search to verify what you’re being told. When you don’t have the opportunity to double-check, listen to your gut. Suppose they tell you that a coworker said something behind your back. Ask yourself, “What’s their motivation, what do they gain, and how does this information hold up to scrutiny? Do they have my best interests in mind, or are they trying to start an unnecessary conflict?”
Do your best to see through charm and flattery. Consider what they’re like when they’re not using their charisma to get something. Ask yourself, “What do I have to offer them that could explain their attempt to flatter me?” For example, don’t cave in if they’ve been showering you with compliments, then ask you to loan them money or to do a favor for them. Tell them, “Sorry, I have a personal policy about loaning money to friends, family, and coworkers,” or “Sorry, I have a ton on my plate and can’t take on this project for you. "
If you believe your safety is in jeopardy, talk to a teacher or guidance counselor if you’re at school. For work-related issues, bring your concerns to your HR department or, if you company doesn’t have one, to a supervisor. If you’re a teacher dealing with an obstructive student, don’t engage their attempts to circumvent school rules. Make it clear that they are not above the rules, inform them of the consequences, and get support from administration for flagrant violations.
For instance, if they did something wrong and try to shift the blame to you, don’t respond by shouting, “You’re lying! You’re the one that did this!” Instead, calmly say, “I understand you believe this is the case. ” If a figure of authority, like a supervisor or teacher, is involved, keep your tone rational, and mention evidence that proves you’re not at fault.
While your best option is to avoid the person who’s giving you trouble, this isn’t always possible. Your job might require you to work closely with them, or they might seek you out at work or school. Getting help from an authority figure or changing jobs or schools might be drastic, but these measures are necessary if you’re the target of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse.
Keep in mind if someone steals a candy bar or runs a stop sign, it doesn’t mean they’re a psychopath. There’s a difference between breaking a rule and consistent, flagrant disregard for all rules and norms with no remorse.
Remember, a wild night on the town or going for a joy ride doesn’t make someone a psychopath. Antisocial personality disorder is a complex group of behavioral patterns. Only a mental health professional who’s trained in abnormal psychology and has experience with psychopathy can make an accurate diagnosis. [20] X Expert Source Liana Georgoulis, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 6 September 2018.
You might have a gut feeling that something is wrong or feel like you’re losing your grip on reality. If believe you’re the victim of gaslighting or emotional manipulation, reaching out to a trusted loved one or mental health professional can help you regain objectivity. A psychopath manipulates emotions to get what they want, maintain control over other people, because it makes them feel good, or to make themselves look like a victim. [22] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Keeping up your guard doesn’t mean being paranoid in every social setting. Rather, pay attention to cues and listen to your gut. If someone gives you a bad feeling, leave the situation and get to a safe, well-lit, public area. Let a friend know where you’ll be before you go on a date with someone. Don’t reveal your private information to strangers, and don’t loan them money or give them access to your valuables. As a relationship progresses, treat 1 lie, broken promise, or neglected responsibility as a possible misunderstanding. Be suspicious after strike 2, and cut things off after strike 3. [24] X Research source
While it’s important to distinguish between psychological terms and moral judgments, always keep in mind that you do not have to associate with someone who has mistreated or abused you. A mental health condition doesn’t necessarily excuse someone’s behavior. The degree to which someone with antisocial personality disorder is in control of their actions is a complex and controversial topic but, regardless, you do not have to tolerate being mistreated.
