Of course, that doesn’t mean there won’t be any conflict between the two of you! Differences in opinions and ideas will always come up, no matter how much you love each other. The key isn’t unconditional agreement so much as it is a commitment to navigate conflict in healthy, respectful ways. See if it is possible to be direct, open, and honest with each other. [2] X Research source Consider whether your partner hears your feedback and does reflective listening. [3] X Research source Think about whether you can have a conversation with them to improve your relationship. For example, if your partner is secretive, can you tell them you feel insecure and ask them to be more open. [4] X Research source
Don’t get too worried if he doesn’t, though. Some guys are very shy about sharing their feelings. Ask him why he never says it first and tell him that you like to hear it. This might make him more comfortable saying it to you.
Keep the idea of balance in mind. Neither one of you should neglect the needs of the other, which means that, along with caring for his needs, you also need to make sure he cares for your needs!
If he proposes to you too soon (e. g. , before 1 year), take some time to analyze why he is rushing. If you are inclined to say yes, suggest a long engagement to be sure. If he absolutely won’t discuss a future together – even after a significant amount of time (say a year) – he is probably not considering one.
Do you include him in family plans, such as inviting him on your family vacation (or even simply assuming that he will accompany your family without needing an invitation)? Do you want to help him get along with his family (or even stick up for him) because it’s important that they like you? Do you suggest that he should call your mother if he needs advice on cooking, cleaning, etc. ?
Do you find that either of you is becoming possessive, jealous, distrusting, lazy, or constantly stressed out? This is probably not someone you want to be around. They probably are not the one for you and you will not like the person you become if you stay with them. Do you find that you inspire each other to be better people? Do you strive for more from life and for yourself when you’re with him? Does he do the same? Do you make each other kinder, happier people? This is a healthy relationship and you will only improve each other’s lives.
Look for discrepancies between what is said and what is communicated. We’re often so blindsided by someone who waxes poetic about their love that we fail to notice whether or not they’ve done anything to back it up. At the same time, we might be so frustrated by someone who doesn’t spout poetry that we overlook all the thoughtful, loving gestures they’ve made. Reflect on whether either of you fits into one of these categories.
