If you’ve heard this person described as “clingy,” whether it’s by friends or past significant others, then you may have a problem. If the person doesn’t have a lot of friends, interests, or a lot going on, then he or she may have nothing better to do than to spend a lot of time with you. If you know that this person has really liked you in the past, then it’s better to avoid it. If you know the person has a harmless crush on you, then that’s perfect.
Pick someone you already like, but not someone you would normally date. Go out of your comfort zone and remember that you’re looking for a hot hook up partner, not your future husband or wife. If you pick someone you might date, then it’s more likely that you’d end up falling for that person. You should have some natural chemistry with this person. That doesn’t mean you want to stay up for hours talking about the meaning of life with him – you just want to rip his shirt off.
Get to know the person you’re hooking up with. Start a conversation and ask them about the current and past sexual history. [3] X Expert Source Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RDLicensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert Expert Interview. 6 October 2021. {“smallUrl”:“https://www. wikihow. com/images/thumb/a/a0/Start-a-Friends-With-Benefits-Relationship-Step-5-Version-2. jpg/v4-460px-Start-a-Friends-With-Benefits-Relationship-Step-5-Version-2. jpg”,“bigUrl”:"/images/thumb/a/a0/Start-a-Friends-With-Benefits-Relationship-Step-5-Version-2. jpg/aid243204-v4-728px-Start-a-Friends-With-Benefits-Relationship-Step-5-Version-2. jpg",“smallWidth”:460,“smallHeight”:345,“bigWidth”:728,“bigHeight”:546,“licensing”:"<div class="mw-parser-output">
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Make it clear that you are not dating – you’re just having fun. Both of you should be free to hook up with other people. Make sure that you won’t see each other too often. You should see each other just two or three times a week, preferably at night. If you see each other almost every day, then guess what? That’s dating. Decide that you’ll end the relationship when one person gets too attached. Unless you both start falling for each other, make it clear that if someone gets attached, it’s over.
If your friend does stay the night, don’t fry up some pancakes in the morning, or give her a kiss goodbye. Be nice, but not loving. Don’t do things a real couple would do, like go on a mini-vacation, go grocery shopping, or go on double-dates with your friends. Don’t go clothes shopping together, and don’t bring your “friend” as a date to a wedding or a party. Don’t get gifts for the person you’re hooking up with, or call him or her just to chat. Keep your distance. Don’t see the person more than two or three times a week.
Once you have a feeling that it may be over, then it’s over. If you set the ground rules early on, then it shouldn’t be too painful to have a conversation about ending the non-relationship. And in the rare event that you and your hook up partner have fallen for each other, just sit back and enjoy the ride.
