Take the list of questions provided by the US Department of Veterans Affairs http://www. hiv. va. gov/patient/diagnosis/questions-for-doctor. asp to your next doctor’s appointment. Have a trusted friend or family member accompany you to help you take notes and remember things. Ask your primary care provider about resources in your community for people who have HIV. You might say, “Could you tell me about the support available for managing my HIV?”
Visit the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention webpage https://www. cdc. gov/actagainstaids/campaigns/hivtreatmentworks/getincare/findcare. html for information on locating an HIV specialist. You can also check either The American Academy of HIV Medicine or the HIV Medicine Association at https://www. hivma. org/hivaids-resources/patient-assistance-programs/ to find a specialist.
Tell them that you need their help staying positive. For example, you could try saying, “I’m going to need your help maintaining a positive attitude after my diagnosis. ” Let them know specific ways that they can support you. For instance, you might say, “I could really use your help getting organized. It’ll help reduce my stress to know everything is in order. ” Also, when people offer to help you, be sure to say “Yes, I will take you up on that offer,” instead of simply saying “thank you. ” It is important to let people know that you do want their help, even if you cannot think of how they can help you right now. Your friends and family could read books on how they can best support to you, like Caring for a Loved One With AIDS: The Experiences of Families, Lovers, and Friends by Marie Annette Brown.
Visit https://www. aids. gov/hiv-aids-basics/just-diagnosed-with-hiv-aids/find-care-and-treatment/locating-hiv-aids-services/ to find organizations providing HIV services in your area. Ask your primary care provider about community agencies and organizations that offer support for people with HIV.
Ask your physician, service organization representative, or mental health professional about HIV support groups in your community. Consider joining an online support group or forum if you can’t attend a face-to-face support group. Visit for information on support groups and services near you. Try to commit to attending three group sessions before you decide if it is for you. Some people find they make them feel better, while others find they feel worse after a session. Give it a few visits to decide how it affects you.
Ask your physician for a referral to a mental health professional. For instance, you might say, “I’d like to talk with a counselor to help me cope with this. Can you recommend one?” Consider family therapy if there are loved ones that your diagnosis affects. Family therapy is also a good way to help your family learn how to support you.
Talk to your support team about what emotions and feelings you should expect. You can ask, “What are some of the common feelings that people with a diagnosis experience?” Learn about the signs that you may not be coping with your diagnosis well. You might say, “How can I overcome these feelings and stay positive?” Learn about the grief process and treatment modules for emotional distress.
When you find yourself thinking, “This can’t be happening to me,” you can try telling yourself, “I have HIV. I can manage it and still have a happy fulfilling life with it. ” Writing, “I am HIV positive and I can live with it” is one way to help you accept your diagnosis. This can make the words and the situation concrete and real to you. Practice saying this out loud to those closest to you who are aware of your diagnosis. You can also practice saying this in the mirror.
Be honest with yourself if you’re feeling angry. You can say to yourself, “I’m angry at having this diagnosis and its okay for me feel this way along as I address it. ” Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. For example, you can tell your therapist, “I’m feeling angry about having HIV and need some help working through it. ” Be sure to discuss the stages of grief with your therapist as well, and keep in mind that they are not the same for everyone.
If you feel an anxiety attack coming or notice you feel nervous, take a brief break from the situation and do some deep breathing to calm yourself. For example, if you’re starting to feel anxious as you make a list of your medications, take a break and go for a walk. Focus on your breathing during your walk then go back to the list feeling calmer. Write down the specific things that are concerning you and brainstorm solutions to the challenges you’re experiencing. For example, you might write: telling people, the stigma, and keeping my stress down. Then think about how you can address each one. Share your concerns with someone close to you. Sometimes talking to someone you trust can help you keep things in perspective and lower your anxiety.
Tell the people that you care about that you appreciate them. For example, you might pick one person a day to tell how much they man to you. Keep a gratitude journal and each day write down two to three things you’re grateful for.
Review sites like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention https://www. cdc. gov/hiv/, National Health Service http://www. nhs. uk/conditions/hiv/pages/introduction. aspx, AIDSInfo https://aidsinfo. nih. gov, or AIDS. gov https://www. hiv. gov/ for up-to-date information about HIV. Don’t hesitate to ask your primary care provider, service organization representative, or anyone else who is knowledgeable about HIV any questions you have.
Try using a guided audio meditation to get started. You can also meditate on your own, or in a class setting. Introduce yourself to meditation a little at a time. For instance, start by sitting or lying quietly somewhere comfortable. Focus on relaxing your body and on your breathing for five to ten minutes. Over time increase the amount of time you spend meditating. You can also begin meditating on mantras or phrases. Keep in mind that meditation can be difficult at first, but it usually gets easier with practice.
Slowly inhale through your nose. You may want to count as you do so. For example, you might think to yourself, “Inhale, 2, 3, 4, 5. ” Hold the breath for a few moments. Try to feel it in your lungs and down into your belly. Count to yourself as you hold it. Release the breath slowly out of your mouth. You may want to count again. For instance, you might think as you are exhaling, “Exhale, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. ”
Write honestly about what’s going on in your life and how you feel about it. For instance, you might write, “I’m HIV positive and I’m not sure how I feel about everything going on with this diagnosis. ” Write about the challenges you face and how you can overcome them. Also, write about your successes with HIV and in staying positive after your diagnosis. Designate a space in your journal (or keep a separate one) to keep track of your HIV treatments and other important notes and information.
Talk to your physician about which treatments are available and appropriate for you. For instance, you can try saying, “What are some of the treatment options that might be best for me?” You should expect to have this conversation at multiple times over the course of your life. There may be new medical options to consider and new circumstances in your life and the way the disease affects you. Make a note of any changes to or concerns about your treatment plan, whether they are expected or not. For example, you might make note of medication side effects or a change in dosage.
Include plenty of whole grains, fresh fruits and vegetables, and proteins in your diet. For instance, you might have oatmeal with a side of fresh fruit and an egg white for breakfast. Try to avoid excess sugar, sodium, and processed foods. For example, trade your bag of kettle corn flavored chips for a cup of air-popped popcorn and apple slices. Drink water or natural juices instead of sugary or carbonated beverages. You can also try substituting tea for coffee.
Go for a bike ride, a swim, or a hike if you need some time alone to think or to unwind after something stressful. To be social you can participate in a group class or activity like martial arts, basketball, or a cross-training boot camp.
Stick to a sleep schedule so that you go to sleep and wake up at approximately the same time every day. Create a bedtime routine to help you relax and prepare for resting. For instance, you could have a cup of tea and a small snack while watching the news. Turn off your Electronic devices and try to use any other distractions from the room before you go to sleep.
