You can try saying something like “I’m really hurt by what you just said” or “When you say things like that, I feel as though I am worthless. ” Try not to respond with sarcasm. Your friend might mistake it as acceptance of what they are doing. For example, if your friend makes a comment on your weight, instead of a dry “thanks,” try saying, “I don’t find that really funny. ”
For example, if your friend puts down your appearance, say, “I don’t care what you think. I think I look beautiful. ”
If the insult really hurts you, tell your friend that you do not find it funny. Don’t make a joke at your friend’s expense, or it will continue the cycle of insults. Instead, use self-deprecating humor. By being able to make fun of yourself, you demonstrate that you don’t care what others think and that you are comfortable in your own skin. This can help discourage others from making fun of you!
A good calm dismissal is to just say “I’m sorry to hear you think that. ” You can also state your feelings by saying, “I don’t want to be angry with you, but when I hear you say such things about me, it upsets me. ”
A good way of starting the conversation can be, “Hey, can we chat about something? I want to have an honest talk with you. You’re a good friend to me, but recently some things have been happening that have really hurt me. I want to make sure that we can come to an understanding together so that we can remain friends. ”
For example, you can say, “When I hear that I am overweight or chubby, I feel as though I am ugly and worthless. ” Or you can try saying, “I know that sometimes you like to joke around, but I feel sad when I am told that I am dumb. ”
You can say things like, “why do you always comment on how much I eat?” or “why is it so funny that I like to read comic books?” You may even ask them how they might feel in your situation: “How would you feel if someone kept making fun of how you do your hair?”
Try saying, “Hey. I asked you to stop pulling pranks on me. I talked to you last time, and then we talked privately, and you said you understood. Now I’m telling you: I’m not going to put up with it any more. Stop it. "
Venting to another person can help give you perspective, and it will also help you process your emotions so that you can confront your bullying friend without crying or yelling. [8] X Research source Try not to consult a friend who is also friends with your frenemy. They may try to defend your bully or they may tell your bully what you said in an innocent attempt to patch your relationship. Try to find someone who is distant from the situation. They can provide a clear-headed and objective perspective on the matter.
You can try saying, “Look, we have had some good times, but I think I need my own space. ” If they ask why, deflect the blame towards yourself. “I don’t think we have a similar sense of humor. Sometimes what you find funny is what I find hurtful. I don’t think you’re a bad person, but I don’t think we make good friends. ” If you don’t want to tell them outright, you can give an excuse for not seeing them. For instance: “I need to spend more time on my work and less time on socializing” or “I’ve been neglecting my health, and I need to focus more on taking care of myself. ”
Try telling your friends, “All I’m going to say is that we had a fight. I think they are still a good person, but we need our space. " If your friends push you for details, resist the urge to badmouth your old friend. Good friends will see that you are being a bigger person and will respect you for it.
