You will notice that thinking of them is regressive – you will think of them less and less over time.
Your routine won’t change effortlessly, and that is okay. Stick with it and before you know it, what was work will be your new routine. If they try to continue with routines that involve you, such as phone calls or texts, you can explain that you no longer wish to speak with them on the phone, for example, or you may take a more thorough approach and block them on social media. [5] X Expert Source Julia Yacoob, PhDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 July 2021. If you choose to block them, block their phone number so that they may not call or text you also.
Distance, such as living in different states, countries, or even different continents. Differences in lifestyle, personality, or interests. For example, maybe the person you are in love with is an outgoing sports enthusiast who loves to attend parties and other social events. If you are more of an introvert who likes to watch movies and hang out at home with just a few people at a time, then your lifestyles, personalities, and interests might not mesh well. Different relationship goals, such as wanting marriage while the other person may not be interested in a monogamous relationship at all.
You can say goodbye, you can write it in a letter, or a poem, or simply process it internally by thinking about it. If you share a friend or hobby group, you may decide that you want to maintain a friendship with them. If that’s the case, explain to them that you’re ending the romantic part of your relationship but look forward to a mature and healthy friendship. If you think it would be better to cut all ties, it’s up to you whether you want to explain that you want no further contact with them.
“I need to talk to you about something important. . . " “Do you have time to talk about something important? I want to discuss…” “I don’t know the best way to start, but. . . " “I’m heartbroken about this, but. . . "
Don’t write extensively about what went wrong. Instead, simply say that you need to end the relationship and what it is you expect going forward, be it no communication, limited communication, or a thriving friendship.
If you think that they won’t take your ending the relationship well, you might consider writing an email instead of allowing them to respond to you in a direct message.
If you are nervous that they will try to talk you out of ending the relationship, opt to send an email instead of the more personal routes of conversation.
Sometimes it’s not possible to have a conversation that brings you satisfying closure. That’s okay. That lack is a closure in and of itself. Move forward and focus on healing yourself.
Take two minutes every day to quietly think about that which you appreciate about yourself, such as your sense of humor, your eyes, your intellect, or even your shopping savvy. Make an effort to be kinder to others. You will have a better opinion of yourself the kinder you are to others. [14] X Research source
Consider what was good about your relationship. Was it educational? Or did it help you mature emotionally? Was it nice to have a confidant? Thinking about the positive aspects will help you figure out what you want in future relationships. [16] X Research source Similarly, consider what needs you had that weren’t met in the relationship. Was it difficult to coordinate schedules? Or did you have different life goals? Lastly, consider what did and did not make you happy in your relationship. Thinking about these aspects of your relationship will help you identify your needs and what you want in future relationships.
Go on a local dating website Or look at a national website, but select your geographic area Or look to local hobby groups Ask a friend to set you up with someone Join a local recreational sports league
It’s good and healthy to admit that you’ll never meet this person for whom you have feelings. Maintaining even the slightest hope that you’ll meet them may only intensify your inner conflict.
Find new games to play, new message boards with which to interact, and new groups to join. You learned from previous experience that it was important to meet the person who you love, so you want to avoid starting a similar relationship with someone in these new groups or communities.