If your sister says something to you, pay attention to her, rather than the TV or your cell phone. This will make your sister feel like you care. Avoid bringing up topics you know will start a fight, like your brother’s report card grades, or your sister’s new boyfriend.

Maybe your system is taking turns choosing the TV show. Perhaps it works best for you to write out what you agree upon in a contract. If you want to use the bathroom to get ready for school, ask your brother if he could shower at night instead of in the morning. If he doesn’t agree, maybe try showering at night yourself or try waking up 15 minutes earlier.

Pause for 5 seconds or 5 minutes–however long you need. If it helps, designate a cool off period and give each other space. Pause your conversation, and give each other some space. Work out your emotions individually rather than taking them out on each other. If you are having trouble relaxing, try listening to music or taking a walk. This will distract you and give you something else to think about, so you can come back and talk to your sibling calmly. If you want to do something nice for them, and help you both calm down, bring a family pet to the couch, or some other neutral area, and talk there, where you both have a calming influence, in this case, a pet, to cool the flames.

Instead of telling him he is an idiot, just don’t say anything at all. If your sister teases you about your new shoes, just ignore her. If ignoring your sibling doesn’t get them to stop, calmly and nicely say something like, “Hey, can you please stop that?”

You will feel much better after you apologize. If you want to stop fighting with your brother or sister, remember that your goal is not to win an argument, but rather to get along. Say something like, “Hey Matt, I don’t want to fight. I’m sorry I was bored and started bothering you” or “I apologize for anything I’ve done. ”

Say something like, “Courtney, I feel really hurt that you are fought with me about borrowing your shirt. I asked for it before I took it. ” You can also say, “I feel angry when you to make fun of me, even after I ask you to stop. "

Consider the last time you and your brother fought over the TV remote. Why does this keep happening? Because you don’t agree on what to watch, or because you want to be the one to choose? Maybe you continue to fight with your siblings because neither of you thinks you are wrong when if you realized you were the one who started the argument first, you could stop the fight from happening.

Maybe you are upset with your brother because he teases you and calls you names, so every time you talk, you are defensive. Agree together that he will stop calling you names, and let go of the expectation that he will be mean to you. Then, you can both have fun together at the park

Say something like, “Dad, Ashley won’t stop changing the channel when I am watching cartoons. I have asked her to stop nicely but she won’t. Can you help?”

Remembering your sibling’s boundaries will show them your love and respect. Don’t read their journal or snoop around in their room when they aren’t home.

Try venting to a friend or to your parent about what is on your mind. This will get rid of your feelings so you don’t carry them with you next time you talk to your brother. If you’re really angry with your brother, rather than yelling at him, try writing a letter. This is a safe place for you to vocalize your true feelings, without maybe saying harsh things to him right away. After you’ve written your letter, you’ll be able to discuss your feelings calmly.

You can do things like buy them ice cream or a coffee when you are running errands. Also try things like playing their favorite game together, or buy them a new coloring book or magazine.

Do an activity you both enjoy, like playing golf, walking in the park, or watching a sci-fi movie.

If you both agree your fights are starting because you want to be the boss, stop ordering around your sibling and let them make decisions. If your sister doesn’t trust you because you always shoot her with your Nerf gun, try shooting a stationary target outside instead.