It’s especially important to learn to laugh it off if you’ve made an obvious, public mistake, like spilling a drink, tripping over something, or dropping something you are carrying. Notice how popular kids handle this situation. Typically, they’ll make a joke out of it right away (“What is wrong with me today? I’m tripping all over everything!”) They’ll probably still get teased by their friends for being a ditz – this happens in the “cool” cliques, too. Then, after a minute, they’ll roll their eyes and tell their friends to knock it off. . . and they’ll all start talking about something else. Let yourself off the hook. Everyone does something embarrassing once in awhile. Try to put it out of your head, and genuinely move on – this will cue the people around you that it’s not a thing, any longer. This will feel unnatural at first, so you just have to force yourself to do it. It gets easier with a little practice!
Try to slow down your speech. When you’re nervous, you tend to speak faster. . . slow it down, and you will come across as more confident. [1] X Research source Watch your body language. It may sound clichéd, but try to stand straight with your shoulders back and your chin up. Not only will this make you look more confident, you’ll actually feel more confident as well. [2] X Research source Strike up a conversation with your elderly next-door neighbor, or one of your mom’s friends, or your friend’s little brother. Talk to people who you know won’t tease you, and when your friends aren’t around to make you nervous. The more practice you have, the easier it will be to talk to people in more stressful situations. Keep in mind that people probably aren’t paying as much attention to you as you think. All the kids around you – including the most popular – are completely self-obsessed. They’re too busy worrying that they will say something dumb around someone they like, or that their friends will notice they’re having a bad hair day, to be paying a lot of attention to you. So don’t automatically worry that everyone is looking at you when you enter a room. In most cases, they aren’t.
Don’t ignore their banter completely, or it will look like you are upset and taking things too seriously. Don’t agree with them and put yourself down, or it will encourage them to be more mean.
Some people tease their friends, and their boyfriends or girlfriends, out of affection – they really do think they are being funny. They will admire you if you can tease them back without getting upset.
Your friend teases you for wearing a new leather jacket, saying, “What’s up, Fonzie?” You say, “Yeah, and. . . I’m not stopping there. Tomorrow I’m jumping my motorcycle over a shark tank. ” You’re wearing a new scarf. Your friend says, “Dude! Is that your girlfriend’s scarf?” You say, “Sure is! And. . . I’m wearing her undies, too. ”
Be clear about your expectations. Was there a particular incident that bothered you? What could he or she have done differently, that would have been okay with you? Try simply saying, “Hey, that’s not funny. " when your friend says something hurtful. [7] X Expert Source Katie StyzekProfessional School Counselor Expert Interview. 25 November 2020. Remember teasing is part of some people’s personalities – your friend might not be able to avoid teasing you ever again. Don’t try to force them to make a promise you know they won’t be able to keep. You’ll both end up resenting each other. Try to be specific. If there is a specific subject you’d like to make off-limits, ask if she will avoid teasing you about it. Or, if there is a certain friend who always seems to egg your friend on, ask your friend if she has ever noticed this happening – ask her to look out for it, in the future. Avoid blaming your friend, as this will just make them defensive. Avoid saying things like, “Why are you always so mean to me?” Instead, try something like, “It really bothers me when people tease me about my weight – would you please back me up when everyone starts doing that?” Let them know that as long as they are trying to work on things, you’ll let them off the hook. Say something like, “We’ve been friends for ages, right? This is the only thing that bugs me. . . if you can just try to pay attention in the future, we’re good. ” If you know you sometimes overreact to teasing, or you’re having difficulty laughing things off when you know you should – tell your friend you are working on it. Say, “I know I can be really sensitive sometimes, and I’m trying to work on it. Can you maybe go easy on me, until I develop a thicker skin?”[8] X Research source But don’t let them off the hook, if they are being a jerk. Sometimes people cover their bullying by telling their victim, “Hey, lighten up!” or “Get a sense of humor!” Don’t blame yourself, if this is what’s happening.
Use this approach with friends who suddenly start teasing you, or if their normal light teasing has become cruel. It might be that there is a miscommunication between you two, and once you clear it up, the teasing will stop completely.
If you are suddenly getting teased more than usual, and you can’t figure out why, it might be because people are beginning to see you as more attractive or more confident than you used to be – in this is the case, cheer up, it could be a good thing! Think about whether something has happened in your friend’s life to make them feel insecure. They may be lashing out to deflect attention away from themselves. It might not be you at all.
If they continue to tease you after agreeing to change, you may need to think about ending the relationship. Having toxic people in your life causes a lot of unnecessary stress.
If you can get the other person’s friends to laugh with you, you can deflect their teasing onto the bully instead. People who pick on others a lot usually run in groups where they all tease each other, too. The last thing a bully wants is to be embarrassed in front of his friends.
Every time the bully asks a question, reply by asking her to explain herself. (“Why do you believe that?” or “What makes you think I did that?”) Be careful not to lose your temper or come across as sarcastic, as this will only make them angrier.
You have to be careful with this approach, because if the bully finds out you reported them, they will treat you even worse. Your safety and your mental well-being are more important than your reputation. If you think a bully might become violent, you owe it to yourself – and to the other kids who are being abused – to say something.
