If you are with a friend, decide whether it would be better for you to be alone or to talk through your anger with your friend. If possible, try taking a walk in nature, since that can help you calm down.
Keep your focus on your breath, breathing in and out 8-10 times or until you feel like you have regained control of your emotions.
Begin with your face and head muscles. Hold the tension for 20 seconds, then release it. Work your way down your body, tensing and releasing your shoulders, arms, back, hands, stomach, legs, feet, and toes. Take deep breaths, feeling relaxation from your toes all the way up to your head.
For example, instead of thinking “I hate this person and I want to beat him up,” you can think, “I do not care to spend time with this person, but I am above violent behavior. ”
You might say to yourself, “This guy, even though he is irritating me, is not worth my time. I cannot afford to lose time at work to be in jail or at a trial, and I am not willing to give this guy power over my walk. I am going to walk away instead of engaging with him.
Tense muscles and clenched jaw Headache or stomachache Increased heart rate Sudden sweating or shaking A dizzy feeling
Practice delayed gratification. Practicing delayed gratification in other areas can actually help you develop impulse control generally. For example, if you always sit down and watch your favorite show as soon as you get home from work, try pushing the habit back an hour and getting a bit of housecleaning done first. Accepting this delay will develop your willpower. Develop “if-then” scenarios ahead of time. [8] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source For example, you might decide ahead of time, “if this person insults me or my friends, I will walk away. ” Strengthen your body. Some studies have linked strengthening your muscles and body through regular exercise to increased impulse control and willpower. [9] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Realizing what your triggers are can help you work through them and become more accepting. As a preventive measure, experiment with grounding techniques. Center yourself and identify what makes you angry so you can work our way through it.
For example, you can think to yourself, “I do not like this person. The way he is talking to me and my friends makes me want to beat him up. It is normal to feel angry and to dislike people, but I will not let him get the best of me by drawing me into a physical altercation.
Consistent exercise can help regulate your emotions and strengthen impulse control over time as well as making you feel better in the moment. [11] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Additionally, being aware of your own emotions can help you understand the emotions of other parties involved in conflict. This can help you sympathize with others’ perspectives. [17] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Insignificant things make you very angry. When you’re angry, you display aggressive behaviors, including yelling, screaming, or hitting. The problem is chronic; it happens over and over again. When you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, your temper gets worse and your behavior more violent.
Take slow, deep breaths. Maintaining this breathing will likely bring down your elevated heart rate. Your breaths should be deep enough that your belly extends on the “in” breath. Visualize a golden-white light filling your body as you breathe in, relaxing your mind. When you breathe out, visualize muddy or dark colors leaving your body. Making a habit of meditating every morning, even when you’re not angry, will make you feel more calm in general.
Individual programs may be available in your area for specific age groups, occupations, or life situations. To find an anger management program that is right for you, try searching online for “anger management class” plus the name of your city, state, or region. You can also look for appropriate programs by asking your physician or therapist, or consulting the self-improvement course offerings at your local community center.
You can search for a therapist specializing in anger management in North America here and in the United Kingdom here.
