Smile at people and don’t avoid making eye contact.
You can write all of your painful feelings out on a paper and then burn it safely. Especially if you are shy, having a journal to express your feelings can be helpful.
You can also dance, ice skate, or do tae-bo. Do things that interest you and that you enjoy! Learn a new skill. Learning something new can increase your confidence as well as show you your progress as you keep working with it.
Think about what may interest you, then go check it out. You may feel weird or out of place at first, but give it a shot. Sometimes the hardest part is going to your first meeting. You might feel really anxious or tell yourself all kinds of stories that no one will like you or that you’ll be ignored. Don’t listen to any of it! Just go one time, and give it a try. Remember that all the people there share that same interest. Try getting to know other club members by asking them, “When did you first get into photography?” or, “How long have you done karate?” or, “Who’s your favorite poet?”
It may be easy to get stuck on a loop of when people rejected you. (“What did I do? What could I have done differently? Why were they so mean?”) but get off that loop as soon as possible. These people do not define who you are, and their opinion is only an opinion, not a fact. . Think about the positive qualities you possess (like being kind, compassionate, caring, and generous) and your unique abilities (such as being a great dancer and big brother).
See the positive things this person brings to social interactions, and practice them in your own interactions. When you’re focused on yourself, you may miss the cues that other people give you. Start to notice cues that people give in other interactions, and see if you can start to pick up on cues in your own interactions.
When making eye contact, it’s okay to look away; no need to lock eyes indefinitely. You can also look at different focal points such as the forehead, nose, mouth, between the eyes). If you’ve generally avoided eye contact in the past, it may be a difficult practice to adopt, but keep at it.
Active listening means you put your attention onto what is being said and show interest in it and the person. Don’t be afraid to nod your head, say “oh yeah” or “really?” or “Wow! That’s fascinating!” to show that you are listening along.
Even if it feels completely out of your comfort zone, keep practicing! It will become easier.
Remember that you choose your response. Is it worth engaging with this person? It may be better to just walk away and not even bother.
If the person persists, ignore the person. Say, “I don’t want to talk to you” or “This doesn’t interest me. ” Remember that you have control over how (or if) you react. If it isn’t worth your time, say so.
Also ask yourself if these are people that will continue to be in your life for a long time. If you have plans to go to college or move, it’s likely these people will be gone from your life soon enough.
If a mean person targets you and you respond with a joke, it’s likely he or she will lose interest in trying to hurt you. If someone is making fun of your shoe size, say, “You’re probably right. I tried out for the Lord of the Rings but I guess my feet weren’t hairy enough. ”
If several of your friends feel bullied by someone, approach the person altogether. There’s strength in numbers, and standing in unity will show that you are strong together.
You can also talk to a coach, friend’s parent, or spiritual leader.
Seeing a therapist doesn’t mean you’re “crazy” or incapable of handling your own problems. It just means you’re reaching out for help from someone who’s been trained to support you and help you grow.
Find ways to respond to your negative thoughts in a way that makes them untrue. If you think, “I’m stupid”, think of all the things that make you smart, and it doesn’t have to be school. You may be smart in math, or in building things, or problem solving difficult situations.
