If they are already having a conversation with someone else, just smile and wave; don’t interrupt by saying “hi. "
Try saying something like: “Hey Tom, what’s up?” You can even follow-up with “Did you have a good weekend?” or “Did you do anything fun over the summer?”
“Do you happen to know if it’s stopped raining? I forgot my umbrella today. ” “Have you been outside yet today? It’s beautiful!” “Man, this weather has been crazy, hasn’t it?”
Say: “I see you around all the time, but I’ve never actually gotten your name. I’m Sarah. ” Try not to be creepy. If you do know their name, but haven’t been introduced, it might still be a good idea to ask them for it. Otherwise, you might come off as stalkerish.
For example, you can talk about a class you both love, or you can complain about a class that both of you absolutely hate!
Tell yourself that you’ve got another chance to show them who you are tomorrow. There’s no point in dwelling on what happened yesterday or this morning.
For example, don’t say: “I really hate Mr. Smith’s class. He’s such a pain. ” Instead, go with: “Mr. Smith is tough, but his classes are interesting. What do you think about his latest assignment?”
If they gave a presentation that day, tell them how much you enjoyed it. Try: “That was a really good and interesting presentation!” Compliment them on one aspect of their personality. Say, “You know, you’re a really good listener!” You can compliment parts of their appearance that they have control over, like their shoes or haircut. Try “Wow! Great haircut” or “Those shoes are awesome!” Avoid complimenting them on parts of their appearance that they have no control over, such as their eyes or breasts. The latter is especially inappropriate.
Keep it simple, like “How was your summer?” or “What’s your favorite class?” If you are worried about sounding too fake or rehearsed, consider preparing simple topics to talk about, like their hobbies or classes.
Listening attentively will make it easier to remember certain details. You can bring these details up in later conversations. Even if you are listening to every word, you have to look like you are listening. If you appear distracted, they may think that you don’t care.
Avoid making your eye contact creepy. Allow yourself to blink, and don’t be so worried about maintaining eye contact that you never look away from your crush’s face.
Keep your smile natural and genuine. You don’t want to smile non-stop like a Barbie doll. This will might make you seem fake, insincere, or creepy.
Try commenting on a picture of a concert or event they attended by saying, “I love the Chainsmokers! So cool you got to see them live!” This will let your crush know you share their interests. If your crush posts a more routine photo that you like for its artsiness, say, “Artsy! I like this shot. ”
If your crush posts a picture from their vacation on Instagram, you could say, “Have fun in Paris! Can’t wait to hear about it when you get back!” Consider adding an “I’ll miss you!” or even an emoji.
Maybe your crush just posted about a lesser-known politician you also happen to like. Try saying: “Wow! I can’t believe you know who Pete Buttigieg is. We should totally talk about him over coffee. ” Your crush may have just posted that they had a guitar class at the same music school where you go for piano lessons. Message them by saying, “This is crazy, but we both take lessons on Wednesday afternoons! We should carpool. And start a band. ”
For example, if your crush made a comment on someone else’s post or photo, you don’t have to like it or reply to it. Allow some time between liking a post or photo. If you “like” a photo immediately after it goes up, every single time, you will come off as stalkerish. Vary your comments and reactions. Don’t use the same heart, kissy face, or swoon reaction on every single photo that they post. Avoid being overly enthusiastic and supportive. While it’s great to support your crush, you don’t want to come off as obsessive either. This can push them away from you.
For example, if you have a crush on a goth girl who listens to heavy metal, don’t assume that she wants a guy just like her. Be yourself. If you don’t like heavy metal, don’t post it.
You should only do this if they are already tagging your crush in posts. If they are not tagging your crush at all to begin with, make sure that they ask your crush first. Not everyone likes to be tagged.
Ask your crush for their number by using a shared class or project as an excuse. Say: “Hey, I could really use your help on the Pre-Calc assignment. Could we exchange numbers?” Once you have each other’s numbers, you can start texting each other just to say hello. Be bold and tell them you want their number to talk more. Try: “You know, we’ve been chatting a lot lately. Want to give me your number so we can text, too?”
Try starting a conversation by mentioning seeing them earlier during the day, and then asking them how they’ve been since you saw them. For example, “Hey! It was fun hanging out at lunch today. How was your afternoon?” Don’t over-do it, however. Not everyone likes texting. If your crush sends one-word responses, they might not be into texting.
Group gatherings are a great way to help people relax and open up, but keep in mind that not everyone is extroverted. If your crush doesn’t want to go, don’t push them. Instead of asking them to go out to what you like, consider asking them to go out to what they like. For example, if they like anime, ask them if they want to go to that new anime con.
For example, there might be a movie coming out you know your crush is excited about because you talked about last week. Or you might have just found out that you and your crush are both avid rock-climbers. Take advantage of these commonalities! This question could look like: “So, I know you’re really excited about the new Wonder Woman movie. I really want to see it too, but my other friends aren’t into superheroes. Would you want to go together?” If they ask you if it’s a date, respond depending on whether you’re ready to “officially” ask them out. You could either say, “I don’t really know. How would feel about it being a date?” Or, “No, we’d just go as friends. ” Your other option would be to go for it and say, “Yeah, it’s a date. ”
If you’ve already asked your crush to hang out with you one-on-one, this confession might be less of a surprise to them. You can either confess directly, saying simply, “I really like you as more than a friend. Do you like me in that way too?” Or, you can be more subtle: “We’ve been spending tons of time together, and I feel like we enjoy the same things. We might have a lot of fun if we spent even more time together as something more than friends. What do you think?” Be prepared for disappointment, because it’s impossible to predict or control someone else’s feelings. Even though you’ve interpreted your interactions as flirtation, your crush may have thought you were just becoming good friends.
If they wish to remain friends, respect their decision. Treat them as a friend, not as a crush.
