First, consider whether or not you strongly care for or love your friend simply because she’s a great person or is always there for you. Next, determine if your feelings are arising out of loneliness because you’re not seeing anyone, jealousy because she’s in a relationship, or fear because you think the dynamic of your friendship is changing.

If she’s in a relationship, you might try to figure out if she’s happy in that relationship. If so, back off and wait until she’s single again. Even if she’s in an unhappy relationship, giving her some time could ensure that the two of you have a healthy start rather than you being a rebound.

Only get input from solid, trustworthy people and be sure you think can look at the situation objectively.

But, if you really like her, these possible consequences shouldn’t change anything. If it doesn’t work out, you might need time apart for awhile, but at least you will have taken a bold step towards something you wanted!

Pay attention to her facial expression and body language in addition to her verbal response. If she seems to shut down or dismiss the idea, this may indicate she’s not interested.

For example, you might say something like, “I really like you and I’ve felt this way for months now. "

You might say, “Hey, I have something I need to tell you. Are you free to talk this evening at 5?”

For example, if you’re simply physically attracted to your best friend and would like to bring sex to the table, say that. If you are “in love” with her and would like to be in a romantic relationship, be clear about that.

Say something like, “I know this is a lot to take in. Take your time thinking about what I’ve said. I don’t want to make you feel pressured. ”

For instance, if she didn’t feel the same way, you might set a boundary that you no longer hang out with her alone. You might also choose to take a break from the friendship before deciding how to move forward.

This is important to do whether you decided to pursue the relationship or not. It’s healthy to have close relationships with a range of people. If you decide to start dating your friend, make sure that you still make time for your other friends. It is healthy to keep your friends when you start a new relationship.

To really feel empowered, start your list with “I am. . . ” and recite every item on the list several times each day.

Make an effort to notice the good qualities in others. Bonus points: tell them about the good you see in them— it’ll make both of you happier.