She puts her hand on his arm or touches him frequently. She makes eye contact with him. [1] X Research source She laughs at all of his jokes. She moves her body so that she faces him. She initiates conversation with him. [2] X Research source
She invites him for outings where it will be just the two of them, such as the movies or lunch at a coffee shop. She asks him to do her favors (such as change a lightbulb) where he would go somewhere alone with her. She asks him to go on walks with her. When he says he’s going to do something, such as get a glass of water in the next room, she invites herself and goes with him.
If you see your boyfriend texting someone frequently, ask him who it is. If he is dodgy or defensive about it, it might be her. Going through your boyfriend’s texts might be an invasion of privacy. If he seems as though he is lying, have a conversation with him about trust.
The girl touches your boyfriend in what you think is an inappropriate way. On weekends, your boyfriend spends more time with her than he does with you. Your boyfriend texts or calls her when you two are spending quality time together. They flirt in front of you.
“I’ve been feeling that you’ve been spending more time with her than with me the past couple of weeks, and it’s been making me feel insecure. ” “I love that you’re happy with your friendship with her, but the way she interacts with you sometimes makes me uncomfortable. ” “I am happy with our relationship, but I think there are ways that I could feel more valued and respected. ”
Work on defining these expectations with your boyfriend. You might say something like, “I don’t want you to give up your friendships with other girls, but I would appreciate it if your focus is on me when we spend time together, and not on texting her. " Don’t set boundaries that are vague or manipulative. Something like, “I want to spend more time with you” isn’t specific enough. Try saying, “I want to spend more time together just the two of us. Could we designate a date night?” Let your boyfriend know what is and is not acceptable to you. If you are not comfortable with him giving another girl a back massage, let him know that feels disrespectful to your relationship. Be open to listening to your boyfriend’s perspective and his boundaries as well.
“I feel really uncomfortable when you choose to go to the movies alone with her on Friday night. I would like to go with you or would prefer you go in a group with other people, too. ” “I feel hurt when we’re spending time together and you spend that time texting with her and laughing at your inside jokes. ”
“I really enjoy when we spend quality time together. " “I feel that you really listen to me when I’m having a problem. " “You make me feel happy and supported. "
Take a Zumba class. Make an elaborate dinner together. Go away to a new place for the weekend. Drive a couple hours to an especially beautiful hike. Learn to surf. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Take a photography class.
“How can I help you?” “What do you love about our relationship?” “What ’little things’ can I do to show you I love you?"[16] X Research source
