Brush up on some skills that show good manners. For example, excuse yourself if you interrupt a conversation, offer someone a seat at a meeting, and wait your turn in line. Remember that common courtesy can help you to show respect and have positive interactions with strangers as well.
For example, if you need to cancel on plans and you know the other person will be upset, acknowledge their feelings when you cancel. Say, “I’m so sorry I have to cancel, I know you will feel disappointed. I’ll do my best to make up for it soon. ”
Make neutral statements to demonstrate that you are listening, such as “Yes,” “Go on,” and “I see. ” If you find that your mind has wandered, ask them to repeat what they just said, so that you can be actively involved again in the conversation.
For example, if your roommate has a bad habit that drives you crazy, point it out gently or make a request. Instead of saying, “I can’t stand when you leave the bathroom a mess,” say, “Could you please clean the bathroom when you finish?” or, “I’d really like it if both of us put some effort every day to cleaning the bathroom. ” Make sure that you avoid using passive-aggressive statements to get your needs met. Instead, be direct about what you need to show respect for yourself and other people.
Giving your opinion on everything can hurt people’s feelings, even if you don’t intend to. For example, if you dislike a friend’s partner, be kind and don’t say anything about your dislike unless they directly ask you or you’re concerned about their safety. Respect sometimes means letting people make their own choices even if you don’t agree with them.
For example, if someone is a vegan, don’t offer them meat. If someone practices a different spiritual path than you, don’t poke fun of them or tell them that they are following something untrue or wrong.
Keep your word when you do or say something. People will know you are someone they can trust.
For example, if someone else is talking about gossip, say, “I’d rather not talk about Lexi when she’s not here. That doesn’t seem fair to her. ”
If the person feels foreign to you, make an extra effort to get to know them and relate to them on some level. For example, find something you relate on such as sports, reading, television, painting, having children, growing up in a big family, etc.
This means that you can say “No” to people who ask you for something without feeling guilty or mean. If someone is disrespecting you and not seeing your intrinsic value as a person, you have the right to say something, such as, “Please don’t speak to me that way” or, “I’d like you not to touch me. ”
For example, if someone is yelling at you, respond to them in a calm and understanding voice.
Empathy is a skill that increases with practice. The more you try to understand others, the better you will become at relating to them. For example, if you’re unclear about something or disagree with someone, ask them to clarify or give you an example.
If you’re struggling to control your temper and hold back mean or upsetting words, try taking a few deep breaths. Delay your words so that you can gain a sense of calm first.
Show that you value the person and what they are saying. [12] X Research source You can do this by not speaking over them, asking questions to enhance your understanding, and listening to their opinion, even if it’s different from yours.
For example, instead of saying, “You never pay at restaurants when we eat together,” say, “I got the last meal, would you like to get this one?” Using “I” instead of “you” statements when you talk to other people is more respectful and helps to communicate your perspective without making people defensive. Avoid putting someone down, speaking down to them, insulting them, and calling them names. If your discussion is at this point, it’s unlikely you’re treating them with respect. Take a break.
Try saying something like, “I am sorry I raised my voice at you. That was rude and disrespectful. In the future, I will do my best to speak calmly to you. ”
